Last updated October 1, 2003

 

OK! Here's the scenario!

Kat ~ that's me ~ has discovered the Magic Wishing Well. Supplied with a number of pennies to toss in, she's already wished for wealth, health, youth, and staggering beauty. What next? How about a harem of guys with whom to share all those things?

If you haven't seen my harem of animated men (and women), try here:  

This, however, is the harem of non-animated men (and women) I would gather about me if I had the power of that Wishing Well. I couldn't decide who to put first, since the guys I'm hottest for tend to be the guys I've seen most recently, so they're in alphabetical order. This list is subject to change on any given day, too. What can I say? I'm fickle.



Christian Bale

Call me a cradle-robber, but I fell for this guy when he starred as Jim Hawkins in Treasure Island. I prefer to say that I saw droolworthy potential in that mouth even when he was just a lad. If you've seen American Psycho, then you know he's come a long way from Jim Hawkins! But he definitely did not disappoint my expectations.

Certainly my favorite of his roles is Jack Kelly in Newsies, but a close second is Laurie in Little Women (what was Jo thinking of?!? Gabriel Byrne is fascinating and sexy, but to pass up Laurie for him? No way.)

 

As Jack Kelly ~ the most-seen publicity still. Got to love that smile. As Laurie. Not only tall, dark, and handsome, but sweet and funny. From American Psycho. I told you he grew up rather nicely.

 

Sean Bean

This is so bizarre. I actually disliked this actor until I saw him playing a character who I also disliked ~ Boromir of Gondor in The Fellowship of the Ring ~ whereupon I fell over in a lustful haze over both of them. Or rather, the combination. (The movie is great, don't get me wrong, but Sean is the major reason I've seen it so many times!)

Since LoTR, I'm a fan. Good guy or bad, Sean brings a street-tough, sexy presence to every role.

 

As Boromir again, my favorite role. Hey, the guy has a great smile, wrestles with hobbits, rides well, and is a valiant warrior... he just has that one little flaw... he's human. As Capt. Richard Sharpe in a BBC series. Looks great in those period costumes, doesn't he?

 

Ardeth Bey

Don't get me wrong, I like Oded Fehr the actor, but he never would have caught my attention if The Mummy hadn't shown me how good a guy could look in a dress. Got to love the manly way he handles guns, too. I was thrilled that he got a good return role in The Mummy Returns, including lots of action stuff. There's something about a man with a sword...

With Horus, his most clever friend. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that long black hair and a full lower lip add a lot to a man's sex appeal "This was my first bus ride."

 

Dirk Blackpool

I'd better clarify that I am a slave to the beauty of Duncan Regehr in any role. But Dirk (the villain from the short-lived but hilarious spoof Wizards & Warriors) is special. Brilliant, witty, snide, arrogant, overwhelmingly masculine, with long soft dark hair, wearing all that leather... whew. It gets warm in the room when I watch him. And he has a huge sword, too.

Hunting peasants
(no, that's not a typo...)
I mentioned the sword, right? Looking down his splendid nose at his inferiors ~ which, in his mind, is everyone

 

Powers Boothe

Intense, brooding, dominating, tall, dark, deep-voiced... this guy is compellingly sexy. Another of my prolific actors, he's an Emmy winner, but my favorite Boothe roles are in two "B" movies ~ as the burned out dedicated cop Mace Ryan in Rapid Fire and as the smooth-as-silk ruthless villain Joshua Foss in Sudden Death. Boothe is a Texas boy, and the remainders of his accent still make his voice sound like honey.

Attending a Hollywood thing with his son In a reflective mood As the deliciously evil Joshua Foss

 

Marshall Sam Cain

Sam is a character from a Western TV show I was nuts about, The Young Riders, played by the almost too-handsome Brett Cullen (another Texan). Sam wasn't exactly a mental genius, but he was an excellent marshall and a really nice guy. He was also sexy as hell ~ a tall, well-built, tousle-haired, squint-eyed Western lawman. Wow.

Finding pics of Sam is almost impossible ~ all the Young Riders sites seemed to be down or being redone. But I found a couple pics of gorgeous Brett.

 

Spot Conlon

OK, now I really am robbing the cradle. And I've never seen Gabriel Damon in any other movie than Newsies. But Spot is so cool and so tough, you have to love him. And he's got a mouth that, in sex appeal, rivals Christian Bale's. Plus those fascinating light eyes, and that attitude...! It makes me want to move to Brooklyn.

Tough, cocky, and definitely sexy

 

 


Francis Crawford of Lymond

I don't have a picture, because this guy is out of a book. Actually, a series of books dubbed the Lymond Chronicles, by Dorothy Dunnett. I don't care a lot for the books ~ they are well-written, but the late Ms. Dunnett had a real sadistic streak. However, Francis himself has fascinated me for more than 30 years. He's urbane, passionate yet controlled, multi-talented, complex, a rogue, and brilliantly verbose with a tongue like a knife. As often as I've read Game of Kings (where he's introduced, and my favorite of the series), which is about 40 times, and as many fanfics as I've written with him as a character (20+?), I never tire of him.

 

Dar, the Beastmaster

Marc Singer is a guy who should never wear clothes other than a loincloth. Of all the male bodies I've admired, this one is my favorite. The Beastmaster is a cool movie ~ cheesy, but lots of fun ~ but the major reason I watch it again and again is to see Dar. See him walk, run, fight... oh man. You should see him squat with that huge sword across his thighs. Pant pant. Heck, he even makes walking downstairs a sensual experience. (wiping palms)

Calling his eagle. Yes, he even loves animals! This is the famous sword scene, the one that, despite having seen it a gadjillion times, still makes me squirm in my chair Challenging the bad guys. Does he have great legs, or what?

 

Mr. Darcy

I never have found Colin Firth attractive, but Firth as Mr. Darcy is another story altogether. That superior smugness melting away to an appealing boyishness, combined with the smouldering stares, and then tucked into Regency costume ~ I know some of the sex appeal has to come from the contrast between the buttoned-down, buttoned-up costumes and Darcy's own stuffy character and the surprisingly sensitive, sensual person they conceal at the beginning. Whatever! I don't know very many women who didn't go ga-ga over him, and I completely understand.

Typical Darcy look Writing his letter to Elizabeth. The famous pond scene. My favorite scene in the book and the other BBC version as well.

 

Brendan Fraser

It took ages for this guy to grow on me. I kept thinking, "He's cute. I don't do cute." But his wacky expressions, gleeful sense of humor, and just the feeling that the guy is fun finally got to me. The Mummy Returns sent me over the edge, after which I checked out George of the Jungle and realized, "Hey, he's not only cute, he's sexy!" He still doesn't melt my knees, but I get a warm-fuzzy feeling every time I see him, and I love to watch him. And, hey, he's a Sagittarius like me!

The man of action (right before Imhotep picks him up and tosses him across the room...) Yes, cute. But heart-stoppingly cute. Could he be a great ad for Dockers, or what??

 

Victor Garber

I seemed to have changed my original impressions of many of the men in this harem, and Victor is definitely one of them. He always seemed to play the nice or hapless guy that nobody remembered once the movie ended. I knew who he was, but I was, like, "Eh." Then I saw him as Thomas Andrews in Titanic, where he got a chance to display some real emotion, including a memorable scene in front of a clock.

Now he's got a role that shows he can be a tough and sexy guy (yes, really!) He's Jack Bristow, aka SpyDaddy, the father of Sydney Bristow on Alias. He's a dysfunctional dad and a really mixed-up husband, and definitely not someone you want mad at you. Jack brought me a new appreciation for Victor and got him into this harem.

 

This is about as close to a smile as Jack ever gets. Irritation is his more normal expression. As the suicidally honorable and genuinely nice archictect Thomas Andrews on the Titanic. A picture taken in 1989. The only time I've ever seen him look... cute.

 

Scott Glenn

He's been described in many places as "leathery," and as I've watched him over the years, I swear he's replaced every single ounce of what little fat he had into muscle and sinew, growing more lined and rugged each year. But this actor has always fascinated me. Love his voice, love his expressions, love the way he moves, awkwardly athletic. My favorite roles are as Cmdr. Bart Mancuso from The Hunt for Red October and as Emmet in Silverado, the movie where I first saw him.

He's a little hard to find pictures of, but I found a couple of good ones, didn't I?

 

Stewart Granger

Suave, debonair, tall-dark-and-handsome, with a gorgeous smile, this early-Hollywood actor has been a favorite of mine since childhood, when I saw him in The Last Safari. He had an innate dignity as a young man which really came forward as he got older, and he never lost that dazzling smile or one iota of charm. But he was best as a swashbuckler, a role to which he brought humor, zest, physical dash and daring, and buckets of nice-guy charm.

In The Last Safari, when I first became interested in him. As Beau Brummel In my favorite Granger role, Scaramouche

 

John Gruden

If anyone visiting here knows this guy, I'll be amazed. He's not an actor, musician, or anything like that ~ he's an NFL football coach. He used to be head coach of the Oakland Raiders, but recently switched to Tampa Bay. He's a favorite of the camera, with a range of expressions that gained him the nickname "Grimace Gruden" (the Raiders dubbed him "Chuckie" after the maniacal puppet). I love football, but whenever John is on the screen, I love it on an entirely different level. Sigh.

This definitely makes football more, um, exciting.

 

Haldir

aka The Guardian of Lorien, from the first two films of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings. This guy makes a terrific entrance in FotR, and comes across as both competent and arrogant. He makes a splendid archer/captain/warrior in TTT, which is when I went from thinking of him as arrogant to thinking of him as sexy, but when I fell for him was the moment Aragorn gave him a great big hug. The startled expression on his face was priceless, and made him human. And oops, there went Kat, adding to her harem.

Scenes from Lothlorien

 

Tommy Lee Jones

OK, he's got a face like 5 miles of bad road. But he's got a sexy smile, sharp expressive eyes, and a great body. Those alone don't keep me a fan, however. I adore him because he's just so much fun to watch! My favorite roles for him are the ones that take advantage of his rat-ta-tat-tat delivery of dialogue. He was the only really good thing in Fire Birds (worth watching the awful movie for); he switched marvelously between funny and menacing in Under Siege; and he complemented Harrison Ford beautifully in The Fugitive. To make it even better, he's also intelligent, and another Texas cowboy.

Looks like a cover for GQ, don't he? From The Fugitive - he can be sooo intense As the crack-monkey villain in Under Siege

 

Jeroen Krabbé

This Dutch actor puzzles me ~ how can a man who is so tall, dark and handsome, with such beautiful, expressive eyes, go almost unnoticed by movie fans? Maybe it's because it's so hard to spell his name? (It's pronounced Yer-roon' Krah-bay'.) I dunno, but I'm glad I found him. His roles have gone all the way from playboys (Crossing Delancey) to villains (The Living Daylights). He does sensitivity, too ~ his scene in Immortal Beloved with Isabella Rosselini is one of my favorite film moments. He even looks great in period costume (with a sword!) as the Baron Daguerre in Robin Hood. And I know everyone must remember him as the sophisticated villain from The Fugitive. The neat thing about this guy is that he brings a thoughtful depth to his undoubted sexiness. You're never in doubt that there is more to him than just a pretty face.

Oh, yes ~ he's also an artist See what I mean about that deep, thoughtful sexiness? As a James Bond villain. He's got a lovely beak of a nose, hasn't he?

 

Ewan McGregor

This guy has had such oddball roles, and he is so not-my-type, that I might never have seen his appeal... until I saw Moulin Rouge. I did a real double-take then! Those eyes! So lovely, sparkling, twinkling, full of humor and intelligence, exactly the kind of eyes I'd love to look into. I could live forever with a guy with eyes like Ewan's. He has a lot of other good qualities ~ he's an excellent actor, he sings charmingly, and he has managed to convince me that he is my favorite Star Wars character, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

 

Having a peaceful drink in the bar... As Christian in Moulin Rouge. Cute, funny, sexy, and simply incredibly romantic.

 

Inigo Montoya

The Princess Bride is a movie jam-packed with great characters, but none better than Inigo. OK, his long locks don't compare to Ardeth Bey's, and he is far from gorgeous, but how can any woman resist that sweet, warm, passionate nature? Not to mention the brilliant swordplay. Yes, I love swords, but Westley didn't make me gawp at the screen when he fought. Besides, Inigo had a lot of the best lines!

Eagle eyes Inigo in action. Definitely raises my pulse rate. "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

 

Liam Neeson

I never thought much of Liam Neeson from stills ~ after all, he does not have a pretty face. The first time I saw him in a film was, I swear, the role he was born to play, Qui-Gon Jinn in Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace. He was a wise mentor, a good man, but stubborn and fallible and warmly human. Many of his roles are like that, and he suits them, despite his boxer's features. I love his soft, melancholy eyes, especially.

Lookin' like a street tough here See what I mean about the eyes? One of my favorite roles, Dr. Jerry Lovell in Nell

 

Sam Neill

This extremely prolific actor played a lot of bad guys (including the Devil himself), and although I acknowledged him as a terrific actor, I didn't like him at all until I saw him in Jurassic Park as Alan Grant. I adored the character and fell straight into lust with the actor. I've seen a lot of movies since then that I would never have watched if Sam wasn't in them! No matter what the movie, this clever, expressive and very human man is terrific.

From my favorite scene in Jurassic Park, where Sam and Laura Dern show us the wonder of the dinosaurs I don't think anyone will argue with me that he made a great Merlin The first time I ever saw him was in the film Ivanhoe, playing (what else) a villain, the Knight Templar Brian de Bois-Guilbert

 

Bill Paxton

This guy made a living playing such jerks that it was hard to like him, but his hilariously idiotic role in Aliens made me take a second look, and seeing him in jeans and boots in Twister sealed my fate. He's a Texas boy, and Texas boys wear jeans and boots like nobody else can. There's a homebody, sweet sort of appeal to Bill. He's my boy-next-door.

See what I mean about that "boy next door" appeal? This is the point in Twister where I went from "Gee he's nice looking" to "Oh Lord is he sexy!" This is the main reason I went to see Titanic, believe it or not (but I will admit, Bill wasn't the best thing about the film)

 

Gregg Rainwater

Here I go cradle-robbing again. But Gregg's half-breed character, Buck Cross, on The Young Riders was a very sexy young guy. Being a dark, brooding, long-haired outcast helps the effect, but Buck was also soft-spoken, sensitive, courageous, and often wise. My favorite of Gregg's roles is Buck, naturally, but I've liked him in everything else I've seen him in.

Most of the Young Riders sites seem to be defunct or being revamped, so I was lucky to find even one good pic of Gregg

 

Alan Rickman

When I watched Die Hard the first time, I kept wondering how that creepy, ruthless monster Hans could keep me glued to the screen, thinking he was... sexy. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves showed me it wasn't a momentary aberration. I think Alan Rickman is sexy in every role he does. I have never seen scenery chewed in so magnificent a fashion as he did as the Sheriff of Nottingham, and then he can turn around and be soulfully romantic as Col. Brandon in Sense & Sensibility, then delightfully snide and sarcastic in Galaxy Quest. He's a terrific actor, and the only man who could make Severus Snape sexy.

 

As the cold-hearted wannabe gunslinger Elliott Marston in Quigley Down Under The incomparable Sheriff Sweet Col. Brandon

 

Sark

The only reason that this guy is listed under his character's name rather than his real name (David Anders) is that I haven't seen David do anything else. Sark is a character in Alias, a ruthless, capably violent bad-guy henchman given so much depth by David's portrayal that his role has grown and continues to get more interesting. With his youth, rumpled hair, sharp wardrobe, and fascinatingly alive and humorous eyes, he doesn't seem evil, does he? Sark makes bad look good. In fact, he makes bad look downright sexy.

 

He looks great in leather, and handles the techno-gear well, too. "What is it, Sis? PMS or something?" (Don't ask.) Could such a sweet face belong to a villain? You bet.

 

Han Solo

Oh, yes, I do love Harrison Ford, don't get me wrong. He's wonderful and sexy in everything he does. But if we're talking harems, Harrison is comfy ~ but Han Solo is everything else. Do you think I've watched Star Wars at least 40 times just to see spaceships and aliens? HA! I watch it to see the hottest, sexiest, most exasperating smuggler in any universe. I first saw him in the theater in 1977, when I was 25, and he redefined my idea of sexy. I've been in love with swashbucklers ever since.

This is it. This is the moment when I fell to the floor in sheer lust, and Star Wars became my favorite movie. Oh, man.... The usual publicity shot. Had to include it. This entire scene was terrific, one of my favorites just for the inspired comedic mayhem. It showed that Han was more than just a lust object.

 

Kiefer Sutherland

Beyond the fact that he's another guy with a sexy mouth, he's got his dad's incredible screen presence. He comes across as intelligent, passionate, tough, yet sensitive and with a great sense of humor. My favorite roles for Kiefer are in Renegades, Young Guns, Flatliners, and Disney's The Three Musketeers, but I've never seen him yet in a role where I didn't like him.

His appeal is sensual and even a little sullen, but he doesn't take himself too seriously. See that first pic. Want to dance with me, Kiefer?

 

Hamilton "Ham" Tyler

This character from the second V movie and the series is played by Michael Ironside. Michael is not your typical sex object, but anyone who thinks I'm crazy needs to be introduced to Ham first. Ham's a soldier who takes over the rebels against their will but for their own good. He's tough as nails, a ruthlessly competent military leader, cynical, and a surprisingly funny, astringent counterpoint to all the goody-two-shoes of the rebels. Although he almost never bends from that tough-guy pose, he does have a soft spot for kids.

Ham, as you rarely see him ~ upset. Yes, he can smile! OK, it's a derisive smile, but... Smiling again. This time, like a shark. This is when he's first introduced to the rebels. A bit of a shock to them!

 

Bruce Willis

Die Hard turned me on to two sexy men, Alan Rickman and Bruce. Going bald hasn't hurt this guy's looks, because his sex appeal doesn't rest with his hair. It's in that adorable, crooked smile. He's another one with a sexy mouth, and all he has to do is smile to melt me down. The street-tough presence, the great body ~ they don't hurt to look at. But it's that cute little-boy smile, with the bright twinkling eyes, that gets to me.

In a bit of a wacky turn as the repressed, harrassed PR guy in The Kid See? Isn't it a cute smile? In The Sixth Sense, an excellent movie that proves Bruce isn't just an action hero

 


The Women's Corner

Padme (Naberrie) Amidala

Natalie Portman is a lovely young woman, but I'm not familiar with her, really. However, I love the character of Padme. Here is a woman who has it all. She's wise, responsible, strong-willed, ethical, humorous, and tolerant. She shoots straight and fights smart, and she fearlessly takes action when she must. Leia isn't much compared to her mom!

 

The many faces of Padme ~ queen, soldier, and woman.

Julie Christie

When I was a teenager, I thought Julie was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I might still hold to that position. Elegant, strikingly and sensually lovely, and with a hint of sadness in her eyes, she makes Sharon Stone look cheap and Julia Roberts look childish.

A pair of very different "faces of Julie" Even with age catching up with her, she's magnificent. This is her as Aislinn in Dragonheart.

 

Jennifer Garner

Despite all attempts to make her a vamp as Sydney Bristow in Alias, to me, Jen remains the "cute" one in this harem. Sure, she can kick *ss, but when she's not doing that, she's a sweet, affectionate woman, unpretentious despite being staggeringly beautiful, with a charm that is refreshingly natural. So nice is she, it took me a while to realize she can also be sexy, too!

 

Jen as Syd. At the Emmys, where she was shamefully overlooked yet again. Along with the rest of the Alias cast, so she's in good company. Playing like Mickey Mouse at Disneyworld. I like her best like this ~ natural, cute, and having fun.

 

Lucy Lawless

No one can deny this multi-talented woman is hot as Xena: Warrior Princess. She's the kind of character I enjoy creating, an athletic master swordswoman and warrior with a heart and a sense of humor. After a few episodes, however, I realized that Lucy was a much better actress than I was expecting, not only in the physical role, but in the subtleties as well. I could sit for hours just watching her face change expression. And she has a gorgeously wicked smile, too.

 

Xena out of her armor. Sexy, but still dangerous. Xena the swordswoman. The real Lucy Lawless, who looks as if she is (charmingly) ruining a bonsai.

 

Cherie Lunghi

Sparkle, wit, and spirit ~ this lovely lady has them all, in spades. She's always a delight for me to watch. My favorite of her roles are her Shakespearean roles and the delightful Lady Elizabeth from Covington Cross, but I could watch her do anything and love every minute of it.

See that sparkle? In a more sober moment. Kittenish!

 

Lena Olin

Class, style, charm, elegance, warmth, seductive sensuality, and more than a touch of danger... You need a lot of road signs to deal with this lady. She's got it all. About the only thing missing is sweetness, and for that, try chocolate. Lena is an under-appreciated actress who has found a worthy niche as the complex, intriguing, competent, devious, unpredictable... there I go with adjectives again. I mean, of course, Irina Derevko of Alias. She's a star even amongst that superb cast.

 

The dangerous and feline female, Irina, who even makes prison look sexy She keeps you guessing. Does she love anyone, even Sydney? She can be so convincing... Even when not being Irina, she's lovely, isn't she?

 

Isabella Rosselini

This is not your standard beauty, but she's... the only word I can find is luminous. She looks as if she's in soft romantic focus even when she isn't. And I have rarely seen a woman age into such beautiful dignity.

She's another who is hard to find pictures for, but I like these. They show her in several moods. The last one is from Merlin.

 

Patricia Velazquez

Ms. Velazquez is the wonderfully vampish Anck-su-namun from The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. When I first saw her, I thought, "Oh, cool, a woman with a body rather than a bony stick!" She was actually just a teensy bit plump, in a lusciously curved way. She makes a great villainess, yet has a lovely, twinkling smile. I don't know why she fascinates me so, but if I were a guy, she would definitely be one of my lust objects.

 

Anck-su-namun from the poster Sparring with Neferiti (she's on the left) in a very cool scene See what I mean about lusciously curved?

 

Sigourney Weaver

I think that if I really were a guy, and someone told me, "You can have any Hollywood woman you want," I'd keep this one. I guess part of the reason is that I identify with her best-known character, Ellen Ripley. (OK, I'm not quite that tough!) But part of it is her strong, unusual, elegant looks. And she can do anything, from action to drama to comedy. What a woman!!

 

She can do sexy, too The classic Aliens pose. Go get 'em, Ripley And a pretty smile for the camera